In case anyone doesn’t know what a Betty is, it’s a female version of Mr. Johnson.  And, if you don’t get that reference, it’s below stairs, hairy and comes in all shapes and sizes.  Believe me, it does; not like I’m looking or anything…lol.

I was speaking with my friend at the nail saloon the other night about taking care of our Betties.  Okay, I didn’t start the conversation…giggle.  Of course, the whole saloon joined us and talked about landscaping and different techniques.  Oh my, I learned more about Betties then I really wanted to know.  No, really, TMI.

Apparently at hair/nail shows there is a booth where you can buy Betty landscaping products.  You can have an orange heart, a blue arrow (like a man needs help), or just go bare.  Betties can come in all different colors.  Can you imagine being in the heat of the moment and looking down only to find a red arrow pointing to the spot?  I would roll on the floor with laughter, of course ruining the moment (if I were a guy).

This booth had buttons which say things like: Have you landscaped your Betty?  Landing stripes rule!  Oh my.  Then the conversation turned to, “what is the best way to get the smoothest shave?”  Where did this go so wrong?…lol.

A female friend volunteered that she saw a very smooth stripper at a strip club (who went with her hubby) and proceeded to talk about techniques.  First TMI!!!  If you use a disposable razor only once, it gets smooth.  But, then again this woman can take these off on her taxes…lol.

Another friend at the salon shared that she has a man’s electric razor and takes everything off.  It works great for her.  Another friend shared that since she’s a little over weight her technique and you don’t want to know.

All in all, I now know I can have a purple Betty or smooth ass one.  Well, here I go experimenting and did I say I’m clutzy.  My 911 call may be, “Help!  I’ve waxed my ass to the bath tub and can’t get up.  There is purple dye everywhere, so don’t panic…it’s not blood.”

Again, when did this go so terribly wrong?  Hugs

Several friends and my sister have asked me to do video instant messaging using a web cam.  I finally broke down this weekend and picked one up.  Easy to install right – I have to say WTF!  I couldn’t get the friggen thing to work.  I begged a friends’ husband (pc geek) to come over and help me get this thing up and running.  After a few, “you need a mac” comments, he was able to get the dang thing working.

Now that it’s working, I’m freaked out.  Can a webcam make you gain 20 pounds?  I’ve been speaking with my friends and laughing all weekend.  After a few OH MY GOD moments, I now have a plan never to be on it or just show my tits and then no one will care what I look like….lol.

Through laughter and lot’s of web cam moments, I’ve figured out how to be the best webcam me (interpret-how do I get rid of that extra chin) in each room, the lighting needed, how far away I have to be if I don’t want the dimples to show (God forbid I’m naked on this thing) and how the Paris Hilton stance works to my advantage.  I wear reading glasses and of course the web cam has added 10 more pounds from those.  A friend suggested that I get one of those screens that lay over the monitor, which works like a large magnifier.  Oh, when did this go so wrong? J  I’m sooo not vain, but now that I have this dang thing I’ve come to realize Botox is in my future…LMAO. 

A lot of events in my life have humbled me over the years and now I have another moment that makes me say – oh what the hell…lol.